Horseathon: National Velvet (1944) BUY 6 and up

      Horses. What does it feel like to love a horse?- Angela Lansbury in National Velvet

        Personally, I like horses. They're cute and majestic, but they also are strong and durable. Seriously, they're probably one of the most abused animals in the world, and yet, they will still love us as we love them. Why? Well,any animal lover (including me) can tell you the reason why is because of a loving connection between the human and the animal. In my words, a loving relationship between a human and a pet is one of the best things that can ever happen to you because they seem to understand you better than most humans will ever will and they can sense what your dreams are. Such a connection exists in the 1944 classic National Velvet, which is best known for introducing a young Elizabeth Taylor to the world, (or to American audiences.)  Let's take a look, shall we.
             In 1920s England, young Velvet Brown (Elizabeth Taylor) encounters upon a young man named Mi Taylor (Mickey Rooney), whom her father (Donald Crisp) hires him as hired hand to work at his butcher shop. (How ironic is that the daughter of a butcher gets a horse that somehow doesn't get turned into meat.) Anyway, the reason why Mi came to town was that he found Mrs. Brown's (Anne Revere) name in his dead father notebook and wants to know what the connection is between the two. Throughout the entire movie, Mi and Velvet develops a best friend relationship between the two of them, which will come in handy later on. Hint. Hint.
         Seven minutes into the movie, and we get our first glimpse of our main interest, (other than Liz), and that would be a young Angela Lansbury in her second role. Just kidding. It's really the Pie, (short for Pirate)  or the freaking horse that the obsessed Velvet falls in love with at first sight of it. Luckily for her, the owner is piss... I mean... really upset at his horse for being a wild reckless rebel. So upset, that he holds a raffle for it in town. Through a series of twists and turns, Velvet manages to win the Pie. (Otherwise, this movie would be boring if she didn't win it. Ironically, it almost did happened.)
      Though a series of events, Velvet decides that the Pie should be placed in England's greatest race, which is The Grand National. She's helped by her family and Mi, who used to be a jockey until he accidentally killed someone, and the Pie is accepted into the race. However, Velvet fires the jockey they hired for being a jerk, and she decides to ride the horse herself, which is a no-no in the racing world. But can she and her beloved horse successfully win the race? 
           This is one great movie, and it's not because of the incredible horse race, even though that's part of the reason why I like it so much. The real reason why is that it has superb acting, an engaging plot, and of course the themes. Let's discuss them one by one. After all, I can do whatever I want on my own blog. :)

Who knew that Anne Revere was a direct descendant of Paul Revere?

    The acting is really amazing, unlike some other horse films. (Remember Disney's Home On The Range?)  Elizabeth Taylor is perfect for the innocent/bold Velvet, Mickey Rooney's always great, Donald Crisp is a character you'll both hate and admire at the same time, and fans of Angela Lansbury will not be disappointed by her acting skills. My favorite performance is that of Anne Revere. She may be one of the greatest cinematic mothers ever, for she's warm, bold, graceful, hard working, cheerful, worried, and wonderful at the same time. Her scenes in which she's encouraging her daughter to pursue her dreams always makes me cry for she plays a caring mother who would do anything for her daughter. That's awesome. In fact, she won an Oscar for it! Give that woman a blue ribbon! Sorry, Pie.
           Sadly, this movie isn't perfect. For one thing, the movie is kind of sexist because Velvet, a constantly fainting girl, is shown idolizing horses so much that even her own father gets sick of it. Don't get me wrong for I know Mi likes Pie, but at the same time I know that he sort of hates him at first and  that all of her family aren't really crazy about horses. So, Velvet is sort of being played as the stereotype of cute girls loving horses, which is not a nice thing for Hollywood to be doing at all. But the sexist accusations doesn't stop there, for at the very beginning, when school is being let out for summer, all of the boys get out early, while all of the females are forced inside to sing a boring song. Happily, the sexist accusations stop there for the movie turns into a fable of following your dreams.
         Unfortunately, there's more problems with the movie. One is Jackie 'Butch' Jenkins' character as Velvet's brother. He's really annoying! My gosh did I hate him. All he did was whine, make a mess, do boyish things and say that classic line, "I was sick last night". Believe me, it's just painful to listen him say that line. Another annoying thing is Hollywood's ever popular use of drunk comic relief as Mickey Rooney gets drunk. It just makes me upset to see drinking played as a comic situation, not a dangerous one! For really sensitive kids, they will cringe at the fact that some riders/horses fall, and that Velvet falls down while she's training Pie. Spoiler Alert: They will really cringe when they see Pie getting really ill and the fact that our heroine loses the race partly because she's a girl.
           Thankfully, this film's main strength is its wealth of positive messages/themes. Dreaming big, enjoying life but knowing when it's time to move on to bigger adventures, and taking risks are all hugely influential themes in here, and there's a lot more in here that I sadly won't cover here. However, the main statement of the film is that when people and animals have loving relationships, they'll have the best time of their life. In one scene, Velvet refuses to let Pie go to Hollywood, knowing that he won't understand it. Her crying eyes and bold attitude in that one scene shows a deeper love for her horse that makes the world seem to disappear, leaving only their love intact. Plus, the horse is awesome.

Aw. It's adorable.

       Thank you, Page for hosting this amazing Horseathon and letting me participate in my first blogathon. This post is dedicated to you and all of the other participants. 

Titanic Films 101

                 This year is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic disaster, which forever changed maritime law. It also served as a metaphor of our overconfidence in technology, which we sadly still do to this very day. (Note: Our trust in phones and computers.)  In honor of that great ship and in memory of the 1500 lives whom died on that fateful night, Hollywood has been making a lot of movies about this historic event, but not all of them are masterpieces like Titanic (1997) and A Night To Remember (1958). Let's take a look at the best and worst Titanic films of all time.

           The Film That I Wished Was Still Around With Us:  Saved From The Atlantic (1912)
        A few weeks after the Titanic sank, one of the actual survivors, Dorothy Gibson, starred in a fictionalized film about the Titanic. I would have loved to see this film because it would have reflected society's look on the Titanic, and plus it has an actual survivor in it! Sadly, its studio, Eclair, had a huge fire that engulfed the only known prints, and this was Dorothy Gibson's last film. What a shame.

Major Failure: An Octopus In A Titanic Movie

Another Major Failure: A Rapping Dog In A Titanic Movie

       The Film I Wished Was Not Still Around With Us: The Legend Of Titanic (1999)
      This was the first animated Titanic movie ever, and sadly, that's one of two reasons why we still remember it. The other reason is that it's historically inaccurate, bland animation, a strained political message,stolen cliches, stupidity, and it has an octopus saving the Titanic. I'm not kidding. If you are still interested in why it's so bad, just go see The Nostalgia Critic's video review of it, which sums up all of my hatred of it.
         The Best Documentary on Titanic:  Secrets Of Titanic (1987) and Titanica (1995)
        Even though there are a ton of Titanic documentaries, none of those can even top these two. I like how they showed actual pieces of the ship, and the narration of the latter helps the viewer on a guide of the ship. In fact, both of these also show the human side of the actual expeditions themselves. What a wonderful way to see history in the making.
          The Best T.V. Show About Titanic:  Titanic: The Complete Story (1994)
        This is what got me into my love for Titanic. The survivor's accounts and the glorious images all helped me fuel my knowledge of the vent. And what also helped was that the last special was on the movies and pop culture phenomenon that Titanic has produced. It allowed me to know that those movies existed and that I should go see them. Thank you, History Channel. Now stop messing up your programming with Decoded and America:The Story Of Us and put something fun and nonjudgmental in there.
        The Worst T.V. Show About Titanic: Titanic (1996)
        Why Hollywood! You have ruined great actors like George C.Scott (Patton), Eva Marie Saint (North by Northwest), Tim Curry (Clue), and Pete Gallagher (Short Cuts) when you starred them in a 1996 mini-series that was rushed into production before James Cameron could release his film. The result is a lackluster production with "embarrassingly bad acting" and "out of place scenes". Okay, those words came out of a review from the Seattle-Post Intelligencer   . But they do describe this terrible movie, and there are so many historical inaccuracies that any Titanic fan wouldn't be caught dead watching it!
        The Worst Titanic Movie Ever:  Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2000)
       This is the worst animated film of all time! It's been ranked #1 on the IMDB's Bottom 100, and the Nostalgia Critic did a whole rampage of it on his channel. Here's my review of it in four sentences: This movie is so stupid, ugly, and shameful that I want it destroyed! It had terrible animation that could make Walt Disney puke, borrowed every major Disney storyline/character that could make him puke again, basic stupidity, silly dialogue, shame to Titanic freaks with its historical flaws, and this list could go on and on forever! But the worst part about it is that it has a rapping dog in it! Oh my goodness!
      Honorable Mentions:  Atlantic (1929), History Is Made at Night (1939), and Titanic (1953) are all heavily fictionalized Hollywood versions of the Titanic saga with the latter one winning an Oscar for its soapy script. (Though Barbara Stanwyck was good in it.) Titanic (1943) is notable because it was a German propaganda film that portrayed the British as total jerks, while the Germans as angels. (How ironic.) Tragically, there have been controversy over this as its director got mysteriously killed, and this film was banned in Germany until several decades later. Raise The Titanic (1980) was based on Clive Cussler's book of the same name. Why is it so notable? Well, it bombed really badly. So badly that its producers, Lew Grade, "sank into disaster", and Clive Cussler demanded that no other book of his would be made into another film. The Unsinkable Molly Brown (1964) is a musical chronicling Molly Brown's life, including her brief appearance on Titanic. Time Bandits (1981) and Ghostbuster II (1989) all had brief glimpses of the ship. Too brief for my tastes.  In Naucht und Eis (In Night And Ice) was a silent Titanic drama that was released a few weeks after the actual tragedy. It was thought to be lost until a collector discovered it in 1998.
       The Best Titanic Movies Of All Time: Titanic (1997) and A Night To Remember (1958)
    Okay. I know that I'm cheating by picking two films for the number one spot, but I couldn't do it with those two immortal classics. Both of them showed us characters whom we cared about deeply, artistic ability, wonderful journeys, historically accuracy, and the ship sinking scenes are just awesome. Superb acting and directing also happened in these movies, and you must see these two on DVD, (or theater) right now.
   I think the real reason why we cherish Titanic so much is that we can identify with the lost souls and their ocean liner of dreams that symbolized life with a happy ending. After all, life should have a happy ending for dreams can only prosper in happy endings. Though it sank into tragedy, its dreams will go in our minds as a twisted tragic "happy ending." This post is made in honor of that great ship ,all of her passengers and all of their dreams that will be always remembered.

Holy Cow!: The Most Dangerous Game (1932) RENT 12+ (Depending on their capacity for scary stuff)

                Now, most of you guys are going to see The Hunger Games, and you're probably thinking that we aren't that obsessed and crazed with a bloody and devastating sport as the characters in that awesome movie do. You're wrong as we keep our eyes glued to televised sporting events like football, soccer, boxing, wrestling, car racing and of course hunting/fishing.  This makes our judgment seems weak, but at least we have rules for those types and it's much safer today than back then. Especially, when you consider that long ago, (and still today) many people thought that hunting was the greatest sport ever, despite the billions of animals, (and some random humans) that have died in it. (If a sport is deadly, don't say that it's the greatest thing ever. Otherwise, you'd be saying that Dick Cheney shot that guy in self-defense.)
       Maybe we like pain and torture when they,or we, hunted for food or for pointless trophies. But, whatever the case, be glad that you weren't playing with General Zaroff in Richard Connell's classic tale that makes us reconsider about what the hunted feels like. This tale is so well beloved that Hollywood seems to remake/spoof/remix this every single decade, and it all started with this 1932 chiller from the same guys that brought you the masterpiece, King Kong. That's right. M.C.Cooper produced, Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong starred,and Max Steiner composed this puppy just one year prior to that other masterpiece. Heck, even this was filmed on the same sound set and studio as Kong. Now, let's take a look at this one strange and crazy movie.
        On one dark and not-so-stormy night, Bob Rainsford (played by Joel McCrea) is traveling on board a cabin cruiser, and he's a famed hunter who believes that the hunted likes being hunted, and the hunters (like him) loves being the hunter. Yeah, right. However, before he can go on his merry little way, the ship sails through a channel near an island. This turns out to be a bad idea because it suddenly explodes and sinks. Yes! I'm a huge fan of shipwrecks, so I love this sequence even though there's no such thing in the story. :) Tragically, Rainsford is the only one left alive, and he washes upon the deserted island. Sadly, it's not populated by tourists and a hungry shark.
           However, he discovers that it is inhabited by a huge mansion with a strange door handle. I wished I had one. When he goes inside, he meets the owner, a charming yet cartoonish Russian hunter named General Zaroff, played by Lesile Banks. There, he learns that there have been other guests here as a result of numerous shipwrecks and there are some right now in the house. Later, he meets them-- a brother and sister which are played by the two main stars from King Kong. Does that mean that we will see the famed ape himself ? Sadly,not today. :(  Meanwhile, General Zaroff tells his guests that hunting has always been his number one thing in life, but after hunting every animal in existence, he got bored. So, he went to this forbidden island, and invented "the most dangerous game".

You look good-looking, Mr. Bob.

Even though he refuses to tell them what the beast is, Eve gets suspicious and whispers to Rainsford that several nights ago, the two sailors that saved them disappeared while with our nice host.
         Later that night, Eve's stupid drunk brother goes missing, and the couple decides to look for him in the secret trophy room. Much to their dismay/fright, they discover ....... okay, I'm not going to spoil it for you. Wait till you see it, because it's even more terrifying than the dogs in The Hunger Games! Oops, I've spoiled something. Well, skip the next paragraph if  you haven't seen this movie, or read the book.
         In there, they discover that Zaroff's game is to wreck ships, take the survivors in, hunt them on this creepy island, and once he has killed them, he brings them to be stuffed. Once they learn this, they demand that Zaroff to let them off. He agrees to do so, but only if they can survive his hunting expedition. Can they survive this psychopath's sport?
           This one is nothing like the story except for for some highlights. For instance, there was no woman accompanying Rainsford for the journey, there was no freaking shipwreck, and there's about a million of other details that I wished was in here/kicked out since I'm a fan of the story. Sadly, Hollywood in the 1930s had to publicize this story for release, since we were in the Great Depression. (Hollywood, I forgive you this time.)
             If the story's adaption bums me, why is it featured in The Criterion Collection of all places? It's because the mood and feel can give the viewers goosebumps, even nightmares. Come on, think about it. A man and his girlfriend are chased down by a crazed killer on a jungle-fested island with dogs on their tail has got to terrify everyone in some one's mind one time or another. This is also a great use of foreshadowing in the movies. All of the details in here point to something bad. A reoccurring "bad luck" card symbolizes a shipwreck, while a look on a man's face leads Eve to believe that General Zaroff had something to do with the men's demise. Even the music is foreshadowing doom as it plays like a twisted, devilish trumpet signaling the grand chase. The acting's great fun, and it always interested me how much King Kong and The Most Dangerous Game shared so much in common. Even the sailor's screams came straight from the former film.
            Parents, there are some concerns  here: there are severed heads in the trophy room, Robert Armstrong's character plays drinking as a comical matter, sharks are attacking sailors, the dogs are creepier than the Doberman in Hugo, the Russians are played stupidly, and the woman really is a damsel in distress. Since this is a Pre-Code film, there is violence, and minimal sexual references. The main concern is the entire mood as it's probably not for young kids at all. This can give them nightmares. Also, if your teen is a fan of the story, this is not for them for reasons above.

Do Not Run Into King Kong At All! 

           If you want to give your child a great introduction to foreshadowing and chills, show them this treat, as it has an anti-hunting message and asks us that infamous question that would bug us again in Planet Of The Apes; what is it like for the hunted animals? Do they enjoy it?

Some Like It Hot (1959) BUY 11 and up ( Read notes, first)

            Every human being here on Earth has their flaws. But at least, we are much better at our mistakes than the people in Some  Like It Hot, a 1959 comedy starring Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, and the "sex goddess" herself, Marilyn Monroe. Along with its strong cast, and brilliant direction by the wonderful Billy Wilder, this movie has since become one of my favorite comedies of all time. But is it okay for kids? Let's take a look at one of the films condemned by the Catholic Church when first released.
              The story begins in 1929's Chicago, where gangsters ruled the streets with their whiskey and sadly before Roger Ebert was dueling with Gene Siskel. We find ourselves two struggling musicians, Joe and Jerry, (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon), who accidentally saw the St. Valentine's Day Massacre,(major/minor off-screen violence and historically inaccurate). Since they're witnesses who have to escape the mobsters in change, they get the first out-of -town job. Is it selling bananas or is it shoveling coal? Nah, for otherwise this wouldn't have been interesting as a comedy. Their new job is to be in an all-girl band. Wa-wa. It's also major wa-wa when Joe falls in love with the lead singer, Sugar. (You can't blame him, for she's played by Marilyn Monroe.) 
                 While they're on the job in sunny Florida, they turn out to be better women than men, since a millionaire gets engaged to Jerry, and they amazingly don't get fired. (Watch this movie, Adam Sandler!)  Joe decides to woo Marilyn by pretending to be a millionaire, but before wedding bells can ring, the gangsters arrive, leading to some high jinx.
                Now, you know why I love this movie! This has great performances by everyone. Tony proved that he could do cynical comedy well, and do a pitch-perfect Cary Grant imitation. Jack is a hoot as his comical self. My favorite scene is when he launches a party on board the ... wait, I'm not going to tell you. :)  The gangsters are spoofed wonderfully by the likes of George Raft, and others. Joe E. Brown is perhaps one of the greatest comical characters ever in a movie . But, Marilyn is so tragic and yet so full of grace that you care about her deeply. As she explains early in the film, she always seems to get "the fuzzy end of the lollipop". In real life, she got that, which makes it more heartbreaking, and more real than anything she has done. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.
          The scenes are just so humorous that I constantly laughed more than during the average comedy! And unlike Jack And Jill, everything in this movie works! Even the cross dressing scenes work in the subtext of laughter, which made me realize how luckily I am to be a male. Billy Wilder must have thought so too, for he constantly toys with sex and cynical wit. This is the reason why Some Like It Hot  was shocking for its time. It broke a lot of the rules at the time, because it keeps making comments about sex.  TCM host Robert Osborne once said that if the performances weren't great or if Billy Wilder was like Adam Sandler, then this movie would have been bad and it would be a really embarrassing movie just because of those issues that it addressed. Thank God that everything worked for the good of all.
           As mentioned in here, it has a lot of sexuality, which is somewhat tamed by today's standards. Yet, it may shock kids and some adults, because it also is wild for classics back then. You see, this really has a lot of sexual references in it. A lot. There's also two brutal, yet toned down gangster violence, with dead bodies visible, and since this is Prohibition, there's a lot of drinking! (Naughty America.) The gangsters are sadly stereotypically Italian, and there's a constant joke about Shell Oil in here that may be one of the first cases of product-placement. Despite all of these major concerns, (mostly about sex), this is actually the first Billy Wilder film that you should let them see, (along with Sabrina (1954) and possibly Witness For The Prosecution (1957). )

I look fabulous, don't I?

             The reason why is because just as Billy Wilder was perhaps cruel with his cynicism, he also offered great life lessons. Joe learns what it's like to be a woman from Sugar, and he realizes that what he has been doing is wrong, and that he should make it up to her. Sugar learns that true love can override marrying for money. Jerry learns that he can take control for himself as he gets engaged to a man, and all of the heroes are lovable and good-hearted.  But, my favorite character is Osgood played by Joe E. Brown. The reason why I love him is that he recognizes all of Jack's failures and yet, he still cares about him. This is just like what I said earlier about every one's flaws, and that even though we do major failures, we still have people who love us. Joe will still be loved by Sugar, and Jerry will still be loved by Osgood. "After all, nobody's perfect!"

An Introduction to Film (or why in the world am I doing this)

               When I was two, my mother showed me The Wizard Of Oz. With its imaginative storytelling, wonderful characters, fantastic plot, extravagant musical numbers, and its childlike entertainment, it quickly became one of my favorites. Now, I still enjoy with the same love, mainly because it's timeless but it can still be enjoyed by adults as well as children. As Cinemassacre once said in a review of its sequel, "That's what classics are made of." And I agree with him, because this movie has everything that you want and more.
          Tragically, our modern day movies seem to live up to the splendor of the olden days. We've got countless villains that fail to make us scream, comedies that everyone wants to see burned alive, and just really bad movies that seems to multiply ever year! Now, there are some great movies playing in the theater. In fact, I've got another blog devoted to them, so they won't be listed here. Sorry, but you still can check them out on http://matt-mattmovies.blogspot.com/
            Since you obviously won't be going to the worst movies out there since you will a) bored to death by pure badness or b) don't want everyone bored to tears by badness. So, while you wait for that guaranteed modern masterpiece to play on the big screen, why don't you take a deep breath in the glorious past of the movies. After all, they're still offer delightful surprises and enjoyable joys after all these years. In fact, some of them are even better than today's best. ( No kidding. Just check out the enjoyable Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory and compare it to its dark remake or The Day The Earth Stood Still to Transformers. No contest.)
             Now, I won't be biased, for I will try to examine them carefully and decide if it's in the three main categories that I will be making up today. They will either be in the good, the bad, or the  stupid. Hmm. That's almost as boring as the worst movies ever. Let's spruce it up a bit. They will be known now as essential, horrible, plain stupid, and okay. ( Yes, I know that there were only supposed to be three, not four.But I had to add it in!)
          Then, they will be added to another category of whether or not it will be okay for the kids, or you, or everybody. Some films haven't lived up to be tested on children, and some of them haven't been tested well enough for you. As Ty Burr said, "That's the dirty little secret about old movies." In my language, if it doesn't interest you, skip it. If the kids don't buy it, skip it. Simple.
             I will be reviewing every type of movie from the silent days to when it's twenty years old. The reason is that in order to experience movies, you have to see both the oldies and the sort-of newies.  Just looking at both the influence and how it's being influenced is part of the fun.
           Lastly, here's the reason why this blog is called Classic Cinema Reviews For Kids. After I saw The Wizard Of Oz, I began to connect with stories and how stories get to be made. Sure, books are awesome, but movies are accessible to just about everyone. They speak the same language universally, and plus if kids get to know them, they might be less afraid to go into the woods of cinema. And the best part about it is that you get to spend more time with them! So enjoy. :)